I had another visitation dream on 2-12-18. In this dream
I am talking to my grandmother as she sits and teaches me about groups of things, perhaps herbs and mushrooms. We are sitting in her driveway with a blanket spread out, and there are 5 or 6 different groups of items. She is kind, gentle, comforting. I am enjoying her company. In the dream I am aware that she is dying soon.
I did not experience my grandmother this way in my waking life. My grandmother, who was a primary caretaker for me during my first two years, was stern and challenging for me. I experienced her as resentful and angry.
My grandmother was also an herbalist, and she picked wild mushrooms in the hills around her home in Clinton Corners, New York. She was also very smart and was a good teacher.
I had this dream after having intense emotions about her. During a work situation, an older woman, also a grandmother, attacked me verbally. Her attack took me by surprise, and I experienced intense anger upon processing the event. These feelings morphed into anger towards my own grandmother, rather spontaneously. These feelings were not planned, but they were authentic.
My visitation dream followed on the heals of this experience. I allowed myself to experience my childhood anger with my grandmother, and she visits me in a dream with love. On this website I write about my experience with Terrence’s death and his visitation dream that followed. That dream also came on the heels of doing some intense grieving around his death.
I wonder if grief work fuels this process of visitation dreams. I know that indigenous cultures knew intuitively how important grief work was to the health of the tribe. Many indigenous peoples refer to their ancestors as living connections after death. I wonder if the two feed the other, grief work feeds the ancestors so that the ancestors can feed and connect with those of us still on the planet.
As in my experience, grief can mean having feelings that go counter to what we are supposed to feel. Allowing ourselves to feel our anger, or other awkward feeling, towards a relative or a loved one after their death can feel sacrilegious, however it might be exactly what needs to happen to move through grief and loss. Perhaps after our pain is expressed, our ancestors have a clearer channel to us.
What do you think? I’d love to know.
If you have had a visitation dream, you can enter it on the dream forum page. Email me if you have any questions on the contact page.