An example of The Work and IFS together

The first step is to identify an issue that is top of the day for a client. Say this is anger someone is experiencing within a relationship. My first step would be to have my client focus on how this anger shows up in their body. For example, it might show up as a more rapid heartbeat and tightness in the chest and belly.

The next step would be to have my client focus on those emotions and sensations and answer the question, “How do you feel towards this part of you that feels angry"?

This question helps clients to see the systems objections to their feelings. In IFS therapy, these are known as protectors. Examples could be, “I don’t like this anger. Anger has never worked for me. It always gets me into trouble.”

At this point I will ask my client if this protector part, that objects to your anger, is willing to take a step back, so that we can visit with the anger.

Protector parts are important to acknowledge and get permission from because they have protected the client throughout their life from emotions, in this case anger, from overwhelming them.

In this case, we’ll keep it simple and say that, yes, the protector gives permission to visit with the anger. (If the protector didn’t give permission or needed some attention, we would give that part some attention.)

Now, I will ask the client to go back to the anger and how it manifests and ask them to focus on it and see what arises. As we go into this anger, this is often the deepest that a client will have stayed with their anger because the protector part is not interfering. Often, there will be a memory or image that arises as my client focuses on their anger.

In this example, let’s say that a memory that the client has of being 13 and angry with their father arises.

I would facilitate a dialogue between this 13-year-old part and the client. That usually involves having the member connect with that part letting it know that it’s their future self and asking what the part needed in that situation and what it needs now from the client.

A resolution always includes allowing the younger part to have its feelings and process through what happened. Sometimes, this includes the client supporting the part in expressing their anger in the situation. And it always includes how the client can support this part moving forward based on what the part didn’t get back then.

At this point I will ask the younger, angry part what beliefs it took on back then as a result of that experience. Examples could be, “I am bad”, “There’s something wrong with me”, and/or “My parent doesn’t love or care about me”

Now, I help the part question the thought using The Work. This can be followed by an imaginary ritual that the part and member can do to further let go of the belief.